Change...

 

Change defined: to become different

The first antonym of change in the dictionary : remain

The leaves are starting to turn here. From vibrant green to the colors of fall. Orange, red, yellow. It's still early November so nothing major yet...

I've been taking pictures of trees and leaves for about two weeks, waiting on JUST the right one. I was a out and about when I saw this tree and immediately said, "wow" look at how it's changing.

Change really doesn't happen over night, but when a true change occurs it can be seen during the process.

This tree hasn't changed completely but you can certainly see that the change is indeed taking place.

So often in our lives, we look at ourselves and see areas that need improvement. At that point, we do one or two things. We change, or we don't.

I don't know how many times I've said I'm going to do this or that, or I will do this or that better or stop doing this, yet I remained the same.

I've heard it said that change is hard. Is it really? Maybe it is for some, and not so much for others.

I had a LONG conversation with three people, one lady around my age, my mom and my grandma.

It was so interesting to me how each person looked at change. 

The lady that was close to my age kept saying change was hard for her. It's not that easy.

My mom and my grandma were on the same page with change, saying it's up to the person. If they want to change for the better, they will. If they want to remain the same, they will. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

My grandma used the example of the smoker. No matter how much you preach to them, they ain't gonna stop unless they want to. They have to want it. You can't want it for them.

Everyone is different in what they think, how they feel. So in this situation, there isn't a right or a wrong answer, just how each individual handles it.

I can remember a time when someone made promises to me. The promise to change.  They made it sound so good. Made me feel like it was all gonna be fine.  I held on the their promises, waiting on the change. It didn't happen.  Sure a few things here and there were done differently but only enough so that it could be said..hey I did change. This happened a few times, each time, I held on just hoping that this will really be it.

NOT SO MUCH.

There is only so much an individual can handle before they finally give up. 

One of the hardest things to do, is step outside yourself and look at you. You might not like what you see. Have you been there? **RAISES HAND** I have. Still am sometimes.

I know I have become so comfortable in who I am, and doing things the way I want to do it, that when it's brought to my attention that I'm doing something wrong, I look at them with disgust. Because I KNOW I'm on it.*pops collar*

WRONG.

Once I get over myself and really look, I see that they actually had a valid point. I try to stop whatever it is right then. It does NOT always happen like that though.

One thing that is a "big" thing at my house, is my phone in my hand ALL THE TIME. That was THE hardest thing for me to change about myself. THE HARDEST.

LOL, now umm while I'm working on it still (because I DO have a crackberry lol) it's not nearly as bad as it was lol. I now know when its ok to have it and when its not lol. So it's not constantly in my hand lol.

All I had to do was stand in the other person's shoes and see what they saw. It wasn't pretty lol.

How do you handle change? When a loved one or close friend tells you they see something in you that isn't a good trait...how do you handle it?

Feel free to discuss :)

Comments

[Virginia J]

Yes, change is hard but it is a constant thing in life whether we like it or not. We change everyday there are things that we cannot control and they happen but the things we can, we should at least try to make ourselves happy or better. Sometimes there are things that get on other peoples' nerves, and when we decide to change are we doing it for them or the betterment of ourselves. Just because someone loves you doesn't mean that it is in your best interest. Some chnages bring about others because it sets off a chain reaction wheter good bad or indifferent. But there are changes for the better or worse, because change effects everybody, no matter how small. Do what feels right and what you can live with. eg; Eating habits, exercise, putting down the phone. putting your shoes in the corner instead of the middle of the floor. Take time and plan, do then act.

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=769924324]

Change does gradually and there are time when we do not even notice it. We eventually change our attitudes and opinions over time. There are things I want to do that I have not gotten around to as of yet, but learning how to knit after wanting to do so for so many years came to fruition after quite a few attempts. It takes time. I remember when my mother first died, I would call my by brother everyday for six months until a normal came into place and I didn't need to do anymore. When you no longer need to do something anymore change does come.

[Carla]

Wow you went from a silent Sunday to ocean deep topic. Change is inevitable and it something that I do all the time. I find I am always evolving and this causes conflicts with some people. I can honestly say that some people that have been in my life for awhile do not want me to change. I take risks even when I afraid of what the end result may be but some of my friends would rather stay in their comfort zone and wonder why nothing new ever happens.

[Flora]

My word for 2010 is change. I've needed to make a huge change for some time now, and, it's going to be hard. Just like Carla said, I've been afraid of stepping out on that limb because I knew the end result was going to be devastating for me. No matter what's in store for me, I'm ready. I'm sick of it eating at me. I'm sick of crying over someone else's actions. Yep, change is coming, and I can't wait to breathe easier. It's time to take care of Flora.

[Kisha]

Ok, Imma try to keep this short. I actually have been writing..yes writing up a New Years post on self evaluation/change..a new year full of change. It's going to be a smack in the face for some ppl so I'm praying for forgiveness if I'm wrong each time I add to my script. NOTE: see how serious this is to me. Lol But any and everyone can change if they want to..key word is want..desire. Every one should want to improve..that's what I consider when I think of myself changing. Change is good. Thibk about when u shop for groceries and have a fixed amout u plan on spending, but when ur done you receive change. Change is good. Who wants to act a fool all of their life (I tap on this too..my aunt). I think everyone should conduct a self evaluation every now and then. Think over the things you did or didn't do the month prior. What would you change. If u keep a budget you evaluate it and make changes where necessary..so why not in our daily lives. Lawd let me stop this AINT my blog..not to be released till 12/31. Lol I agree with change, it's right up there close to cleanliness. LMAO

[Ms. Behaving]

Great question Adrienne...

One of my major flaws is being able to admit that I am wrong so when faced with a situation where someone has pointed out they see something in me that's not a good trait I IMMEDIATELY get on the defensive.

Obviously, its something I need to work on but I'll tell you like I tell everyone else ---> I am STILL a work in progress and God is not through with me yet.

[Mpressive Threadz]

Although change is constantly occurring, it always seems to be unexpected. Change is only what you make of it. One of the best books I ever read was given to me during a time of change, "Who Moved My Cheese." A very quick read.

[realhustla]

I know that having my phone in my hand constantly is a way for me to deal with some things around me that I can't seem to control. A way to ignore them or otherwise occupy myself. So in this case I ain't willing to admit to any wrong doing. :(

[Lynnelle]

I have lots to say. To sum it up, this post was so right on time. Alignment. Great, huh?

[Tanya]

You gon make me quote Michael, "you wanna be starting somethin', you wanna be starting somethin'. It's often said that the only constant is change, I believe this but what I really think you're talking about is personal development, which is EXTREMELY difficult to honestly see your flaws and make a conscious effort to change is huge but if you do this very difficult work you are rewarded with a person of character and integrity.

[Jude]

changes changes changes...
I admit it, i hate when people tell me about a fault I need to change, but that is at first. Once i think about it, and if it is coming from one who loves me, I take it to heart and seek to change!

[Neecha]

When someone points out my faults, I'm always initially offended and I can't pinpoint why. Then I ignore them and keep going about my business, but at the end of the day I evaluate myself based on the faults that have been pointed out. You are correct if it is something the person wants to change they will. My favorite song is Everything must change by Randy Crawford, I put that on and it helps me lay those flaws to rest in my mind. This post has brought to my attention some things that need to change ASAP in my life.

[lisa (momy4him)]

change....i don't like it. i go along with it, but usually dragging my feet the whole way. my poor husband, when he tries to tell me about myself, i know he's right but i still get defensive- "whatdoyoumeani'mnotperfect" attitude. i know i need to change alot about myself, but the biggest thing of all that needs changing is my response to the person telling me what's wrong. i will stop speaking to a person for daring to tell me that i am doing something wrong. i need to work on being open and willing to listen because i know it will help me to be a better me!