The post I didn't want to write.....(health update)

*sigh*
Well, I got all my test results back from my doctor and the cancer is still there. We thought that after the first surgery I had, everything would be gone. Umm, not so much.

I have very good doctors. I mean REALLY GOOD DOCTORS. As in, here is my cell phone and home number if you have any questions call me good. That is almost unheard of.

My doctor gave me a few options as far as treatment goes, and after much prayer and talking with my husband and my mom and dad, I opted to go with External Radiation.

It was suggested because the cells have not spread beyond my cervix, and it's early stage cervical cancer so it's used as an alternative to surgery.

External radiation is given by machine, kinda like an x-ray machine. It DOES NOT HURT. At all.

Initially, they suggested that I go to have treatment three times a week for three weeks, then twice a week for four weeks. When I got there yesterday, since the cancer DOES NOT SEEM TO BE SPREADING, they want me to go everyday for THREE WEEKS!!

The reasons I opted for this treatment:

1. I can still do the things I normally do.
2. It is just as effective as having surgery.
3. I am honestly just scared to have surgery. (long story lol)

So there you have it. I had my first treatment yesterday and I was fine. I was a little tired and had no desire to eat anything, but that was it, but I think that was mainly due to my nerves.

I had a mild panic attack Saturday night/ Sunday morning, but after I talked to my good friend, she helped me understand that it was normal to be scared. MORTIFIED was more like it lol.

I am trying to keep a positive outlook on everything, because it could ALWAYS be so much worse.

I can't begin to tell you guys how thankful I am for you all, and my family.

Ok, so that is it lol.  I'll have a super long update Wednesday, there will be another interview (audio this time) ,I've been scrapping, making cards with my "scraps" organizing and purging like crazy (that was Saturday and Sunday) lol, I honestly thought that once I started the treatments, I  was not going to make it, so I had to have everything in order. I had already willed away my fabric. LOL. SERIOUSLY. When I say I had panic attacks, I REALLY mean that. But that is just being real lol. I was SCARED. I'm still scared, but I know I'll be okay...does that make sense? LOL

Thanks again for EVERYTHING!

Toodles!

Comments

[Lara]

OMG...you seemed to have dropped off my bloglines! How did that happen???

My prayers go out to you and your family. Your attitude is AMAZING! Keep it up...it will get you through it.

Reading your post made me realize something...it is so easy to get wrapped up in our own issues (my divorce) but we need to remember that there are others out there struggling too...and frankly, cancer is much more difficult than a divorce. Your post made me put my life in perspective when it was much needed.

I wish you well beyond words can express.

[Vicki]

Oh Adrienne, I'm sorry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your treatment goes well!

[Marcia]

I will keep you and your family lifted in prayer. You inspire me even in your time of dispare. Hang in there.

[Shannon O.]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.....Your attitude is amazing, and quite inspiring.

[dami]

adrienne, sorry to hear about this. be confident in the fact that God is our divine healer. as others have said, it is a good stage at which it was caught. i'll keep you in my prayers and you keep on being your inspiring and upbeat self =)

[Jules]

I pray that all is and will be well. Jeremiah 29:11 - for He knows the plans He has for you, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Peace, Love and Blessings and thank you for using your gift and life to shine a light to inspire others! Keep on shining!

[karen]

I know that this is a very trying time for you and your family. I know that you are a strong person - with positive light and energy around you. I was just thinking about visualization techniques the other day. Try imagining something really powerful -zapping the malignant cells away.
Of course your family is in our prayers.
Karen (michigan)

[vee]

you are in my prayers girlie and hang tight!! you have such a wonderful spirit, i know you will be strong and get thru this.
xo

[Marty]

Adrienne, am so sorry that you were not given more positive news. Vent, scream, shout, cry, laugh if it makes you feel any better. These are scary times but with your strong faith, you will be able to handle what comes your way. I'm a strong believer in "this too shall pass". I'll email you my phone number so you can call anytime you feel the need to vent. I'm a good and patient listener. (((Hugs))) to ya!!!

[Kelly]

Adrienne, my prayer are with you also. God made us a promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just cast your cares upon Him. Make a BOLD prayer to God. He Loves you and from the many comments we all do too!

[Cee]

Adrienne;

GOD IS ABLE!

Enough said.

Love,

Cicely

[Heather]

OMG, I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

:O]

[tiennie]

Wishing you and your family all the best. I'm sorry you have to go through this!

[Noel]

Adrienne...I'm so sorry!! Big hugs and positive thoughts for you!!

[melissa]

Im sorry to hear that, but I know you will beat this, you are a wonderful and strong woman. sending many hugs and prayers your way

[Stilla]

Adrienne,

God has plans for you, and because you are so vocal, He will use this to bless many people. I pray for your speedy recovery and for God to be with your family as you heal.

[Kim]

Hey,
Just checking in and wanted to say I will be praying for you. Ask lots of questions, knowledge is power, I am so glad you have great doctors, that is a comfort in itself.
Take care and God Bless you and your family.
HUGS,
KIM

[Nikki]

*sounding like Florida Evans* D*mn, d*mn, d*mn!!! I'm away from your blog for a LITTLE while and I come back and see this? Lawd, I'm feeling faint. And did you end the post with "ok, so that is it"?!?!?!?!?!?! As if that was not enough?!?!?!?!?! Lawd! I don't even drink but you're 'bout to send me to happy hour!

Well, thank God that you're doing fine and you're making it thru all of this. Panic attacks are not strange for this situation. And sometimes our nerves get the best of us, despite how we try to be Superwoman. Because, in the end, we're only human. You're an awesome woman (yeah, as if you didn't already know. M'kay. Just thought I'd tell you again. LOL!). You're (still) in my thoughts and prayers. Continue to look to the hills from where your help comes from ;).

[anna]

dang, you have some fantastic doctors! thank GOODNESS they were able to catch this and prevent it from spreading. you already know i'll be continuing to lift you up in prayer. thank you once again for beacon of information on this often taboo topic that honestly needs to be discussed more.

[Cindy]

My prayers are with you girl. And I know you will pull through like a champ.

You have been blessed with this wonderful meduim of communicating to woman all over th world. Your journey to wellness will inspires all of us to be strong, especially those whom have not shared thier aliments. And that, my dear, is something to proud of.

[Adriann]

Adrienne, you are one strong and positive little soldier. I will be lifting you up in my prayers. Praying for complete wellness and wholeness.

Blessings!!!

[Wanda]

I agree with other commenters that this was not the news that we, nor yoou, wanted to hear. I'm so happy to hear that you have wonderful doctors, b/c that really helps you as the patient to feel confident in their approach. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.