If you have a minute, listen to this song:
Let me tell y'all.
The past few months have been just WHEW.
I mean really.
There were days when I just didn't want to get out of the bed.
There were days when I literally would lay on my bedroom floor and just cry.
There were days when I just went through the routine. I was so disconnected.
I had to keep myself together in front of everyone. Be strong for everyone, so they would be encouraged when I was falling apart inside.
I had to focus on ONE thing I was thankful for and concentrate on it. Give God praise for that. IN SPITE OF what was currently going on.
I thought the worst of what was going on was over with a few weeks ago. I just KNEW things were going to get better. They were already not as good as I wanted them to be.
I ended up sending out a "tweet" for my peeps to whisper a prayer for me. I was in a BAD spot y'all. I had been fighting tears all day long. One friend said she tried to call me but I didn't have a good signal in the building I was in. We sent a couple text back and forth and I sat there still fighting tears. In public. NOT a good look.
I had another friend text and ask if I could talk. I ended up walking outsideso I could talk to her and before I could even get to my car good, I just lost it.
I hardly EVER cry in front of people (or on the phone) but I couldn't help it.
We talked for a while and she blessed me in ways I can't even say. The fact that we don't talk frequently (we email/txt/tweet everyday) but this phone call I knew was lined up by God. You can't tell me anything different.
When we got off the phone, I felt so much better. Just being able to talk freely and not be judged but be listened to was just the thing I needed.
God did some other things that shocked my socks off but that's for another day.
I thought this was the beginning of things getting better. It was but then...
I got hit HARD a few days ago. Knocked the wind out of me. Hurt me like nothing else. I can't even describe it.
It wasn't until I talked to Tony about it that I just broke down. I mean B R O K E down ugly cry.
I went through a whole huge range of emotions.
I didn't even know HOW to pray. I would try to form the words but they never came. I would just cry.
Once I picked myself up, I decided I was going to encourage myself in the Lord.
I was going to get in my Word.
I was going to fast & pray.
I was going to get OUT of the funk I was in.
It's been a few days and I'm doing so much better.
Talking to me everyday, I don't think you would even know that things were going on with me.
I DO have down days, but I try to always encourage someone else. To put a smile on someone else face. To be a blessing to someone else. It seems to do me good.
There ARE times though when "I" need that as well. That's normal right?
I know that the storms that come to my life are only to make me stronger.
I can't tell you how much MY faith has grown.
I can't tell you how much MORE I trust God. I know "He got me".
I want to encourage you...
No matter what you are going through, no matter what you are facing TRUST GOD.
It may not feel good, it may not look good, it may not even sound good but TRUST GOD.
A good friend of mine told me today, " don't let your circumstances out talk you". That was so profound and RIGHT on time.
Don't be moved by your circumstances or situations.
TRUST GOD. Get in your Bible and Encourage yourself!!
That's what I did, and I thank God that I was able to get up from where I was and encourage myself.
I'm not perfect, just striving to be the woman God wants me to be. Keeping my life lined up with the WORD!