Today has been a rough day. Overwhelmed seems to be an understatement.
Anytime I feel overwhelmed, the scripture comes to mind:
From the end of the earth will I cry unto you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2
Today has been a cry unto Him kinda day. Literally.
I know that God has a plan for me. I trust Him to make things alright, but sometimes trusting isn't easy.
I try to keep my eyes on God at all times, and not the situation, but sometimes that isn't easy.
I keep finding myself in this certain situation, and I keep praying and asking God WHAT am I supposed to be learning from this? I KEEP coming back to this exact same thing. How am I supposed to handle this? What am I supposed to be doing or saying that I'm NOT doing and saying?
It's frustrating sometimes and I try my best to keep my eyes on Him and not question what is going on or why.
There are times when I'm just downright upset about the whole thing and I DO ask Him WHY. WHY. WHY. I ask Him to show me what I'm doing wrong or show me what I'm supposed to be doing that I'm NOT doing, and I'm not getting ANY answer.
I know that a delayed answer doesn't mean He isn't listening. I KNOW He hears me and I KNOW He answers my prayers so why isn't He answering this one? I just want an answer. WHY.
Maybe I shouldn't be questioning Him or why He is doing a certain thing?
But I want to know.
Sometimes you get TIRED of taking the same test. I'm ready to move past this but seems like God isn't ready to move me yet?
I don't know. I want to know. I NEED to know WHY I keep going through this same cycle.
I know I've prayed and fasted about it, gotten other people to pray with me and I do believe that God will make it alright...or do I?
Maybe I need to check MY faith?
Maybe I need to check MY motives?
I think they are pure. I really believe they are. I'm not trying to do something because someone else is doing it.
But why do I REALLY want it? WHY am I seeking an answer.
Now that the tears have dried up, I feel better. Still in the same place but I have peace now. NOTHING has changed. It's STILL the same but change is coming. I know it. The Word says:
The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me...Psalm 138:8
This thing CONCERNS me, so He WILL make it perfect. In His time. I just need to hold on, and keep my eyes on Him.
I'm not perfect, just striving to be the woman God wants me to be. Keeping my life lined up with the WORD!