Soul Food, My Walk With God

MARRIAGE

If you enlarge this picture you can see that I have two stones missing from my wedding ring. If I would have taken this pic with my 50mm then you would also be able to see a ton of scratches on it.

Tony has been trying to get me to "upgrade" my wedding ring for the LONGEST. I just don't want it.

When we got married (at 19), we could NOT afford a big ole huge pretty ring. I THINK this ring was around $500 or $600. That was fine with me.

When I look at my ring, those two missing stones remind me of the two HORRIBLE years we had. I mean they were HORRIBLE. Like forreal lol. TERRIBLE.

The scratches remind me of the countless things we went through. Some my fault, some his.

The fact that I'm still WEARING my ring, that symbolizes our MARRIAGE is just a wonderful thing to me. I KNOW it was God's "glue" that kept us together.

There was a time when I almost lost my family. Yep. ME lol.

There was a time when I did not want to be a mother OR a wife and I acted out on that. More than once. I wasn't taking care of my home, Tony OR the kids.

What I've learned over the years is that it takes TWO to make a marriage work and it's NOT a 50%- 50% thing. It's 100%- 100%.

You can't do all the giving and you can't do all the taking. It works both ways.

I've learned to pick my battles. Some are worth fighting for, some are not.

I've learned most of all to PRAY.

So many people give up on marriages so easily now. When you marry, you married the person you are with for a reason.

Learn to pray and seek God when things get tough.

I try to tell folks all the time when you say your vows, sometimes you get to the "for worse" before you get to the "for better".

I look at my marriage now and it's all that I ever thought it would be. SURE there is room for improvement. We aren't perfect but we have joy. There is happiness in our home. I WANT to be a mother. I WANT to be a wife. Not just any kind of mother and wife but the wife that God desires me to be.

Marriage isn't for everyone, so think about it LONG and HARD. God doesn't approve all kinds of seperation. If you do it the wrong way, you will be messed up. That's not me, that's the WORD. So be careful, and be prayerful.

I know so many marriages going through the ringer right now. I always pray God's will be done in their lives. At one point I was praying something else, then realized that God's will is better than ANYTHING I can every want.

Just want to encourage someone to hold on. Marriages, especially younger marriages is something that's very near and dear to my heart. I'm young and my marriage has really been tested and tried but we made by the grace of God.

 This has been in my drafts forever. Here are a few more blog posts I've seen that were really good concerning marriage:

http://nineteen69.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/the-point-of-it-all/#comment-16440

http://couplethingsblog.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/warning-signs/

http://couplethingsblog.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/relationship-trouble-shooting-part-1/

HEre is one more link a friend sent me the other day:

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=How_Do_I_Make_This_Relationship_Work?_

I'm not perfect, just striving to be the woman God wants me to be. Keeping my life lined up with the WORD!

Comments

[Jenny]

"It's not 50%-50%. It's 100%-100%." I never thought of that but it's so true. Thanks for that thought today. :-)

[Nicole]

Time for me to link up my Internet friend with my family member. First time ever. Pray for us. But this is important.

[Kristi]

I am glad you haven't upgraded your ring.... I love that it reminds you of all you two have been through ;) Too many women think its all about the ring

[Rachelle]

Truer words have never been written. I am so glad that I waited so long to get married. I was 52 but God sent the perfect man for me. Notice I didn't say a perfect man? And for anybody out their in a hurry to get married...don't be. God sent the perfect man for me at the perfect time!

I almost don't remember my life before I got married. You are right about picking your battles but I believe it is more than 100%. Sometimes you have to pick up the slack of your spouse not doing their hundred percent and know that sometimes they'll pick up yours.

I hope that you continue to have a wonderful marriage and continue to grow into the wife, mother, woman that God wants you to be.

[kita]

It is hard. Thank you for inspiring words. We have been doing ok but we have a long way to go.

[mzinspiredmind]

I have to agree w/ Kristi. So many women think it's about the ring or the wedding ceremony and the marriage isn't even a thought. I'm not married yet but this post is absolutely beautiful and filled w/ wise words. Thank you.

[Sherri]

I love that you still hold to your original ring. It's the promise that comes with it that counts, not so much what it looks like.

Being recently married, I will be bookmarking this page. Thank you for sharing this, Adrienne.

[Chelle]

Joe & I just celebrated 14 years, and we've been talking a lot about what marriage is. I love what you said about it not being 50%/50% but 100%/100%. SO TRUE!

Thanks as always for your honesty. Tony & your family are truly blessed for that. And you with them...

Take care!

[Sewingshay]

Thanks for being transparent! Many would not - it is a blessing! After being married 26 yrs - you have to WANT to make it work. Besides, make ups are fun too! lol

[Carolanne]

Adrienne, you are wise beyond your years. A very thought provoking post, thank you!

[Diva (in Demand)]

This was the best post I've ever read in my entire life...thanks for sharing your story with us.

[MrsTDJ]

Beautiful post sis!!! Profound and dead on - "What I've learned over the years is that it takes TWO to make a marriage work and it's NOT a 50%- 50% thing. It's 100%- 100%."

[Towanna]

Such a good post. I appreciate this a lot! Marriage is hard and when you said it takes 100% from both parties I couldnt agree with you more. Thanks as always!

[Carla]

Thank you so much. I needed that so much. I know the work is not done.

Love you for this thank you

[LyNn]

Hi there.....truly a wonderful post!!!!!

[Kisha]

GREAT POST on marriage!!! What people often don't realize is marriage is the union of TWO imperfect people..I said that to get to your statment that speaks volumes: it's NOT a 50%- 50% thing. It's 100%- 100%.
And that is exactly what it takes in ALL marriages. This pray this post reach those that need it the most and that they read it carefully, take it and and grow from what they've read. This will truly be a blessing to someone in need of reading it:)
Wonderful post!! (Can you tell I'm a sucker for love/marriage)

[Nerd Girl]

Yes ma'am!!!!!

[TJ]

Marriage is hard work, but it is very worthwhile work. Great post!

[Stacey_CrimsonPurl]

Now U know I am out of the blog world now but my friend who does follow U nudge me to come read ur post. #GoodStuff and glad U were upfront about it. I find it unnerving as a newlywed that married folks don't talk about it ALL! And the lack of "wifely" support out there (thank goodness for twitter as there are some good marriage accounts out there).
Being truthful and upfront is what will help marriages not waver so much as I love what you said sometimes U have to get to the for worse b4 the for better. We can't understand how folks get thru marriage without GOD!! There really isn't any other way! & it really is true - do NOT ente into it lightly :). Appreciate you sharing!

[Thomisia]

Wonderful and honest post. TFS!

[Melanie]

WOW I am so appreciative on how honest you are in this post...like they say you should never wish/covet what you don't know....I never would have guessed that you'd been through so much but then I should never guess that I truly know who you are either....I mean i just LOVE the woman I know on this blog but I know there's so much more to know and that's what I love about you and your blog....

http://mr-mrspancakes.blogspot.com/2011/11/marriage-mockery-in-media.html

[MinDog & Metch]

This is a beautiful post... I don't know what else to say...simple, truthful, and beautiful.