Have you ever just sat back and started to think? I don't know if it is the new year approaching or what, but I've been doing a LOT of thinking.
I'm proud of myself for the accomplishments I've made, and I can kick myself for some of the dumb stuff that I've done.
I'm normally not one to have regrets, but I do have a few. I know I can't do anything to change them but sometimes they kinda linger....you know, the "what if's".
I had a SERIOUS case of the what if's the other day and it about drove me crazy. It actually drove me to tears.
I have some things that I have been holding on to that I seriously need to let go of. It's hindering my growth as a wife, a mother, a person.
I took time and wrote down everything I was holding on to. I honestly didn't realize it was so much. It kinda hurt me as I wrote all this stuff down.I cried and cried, then I cried some more. It was like I was bearing my soul. I was purging.
The animosity, the jealousy, even down to hatred. I was holding on to some serious stuff.
As I wrote it all down, I cried. It hurt. It had become my clutch. Almost like my security blanket of sorts. As long as I was holding on to this STUFF I would ALWAYS have an excuse to feel the way I did. I think I liked the excuse. I know I did. It was my comfort zone.
I asked Tony if he had anything he was holding on to that he needed to let go of. He said yes. He wrote his list. I didn't look at his, he didn't look at mine.
We took our paper and set it on fire.
As it burned he asked me why I was crying. I told him I felt like a burden had been lifted. It was almost like it was a burden I didn't even realize I was carrying because I had become so used to the weight.
I can't tell you how much better I feel. I'm normally all happy go lucky, but I have my sad days too. I just try to find the best in them. It doesn't always happen but I try.
I know I am rambling but blogging is my therapy lol. WHY am I putting it out there? Y'all already know. Putting it out there might help SOMEONE who has been holding on to something they need to let go of.
I'm not therapist, or some psychology expert but I'm human. I live and I learn and I tell it. Maybe not all in great detail but I will tell it because I want someone to learn from my mistakes and not make the same ones I have.
So if you have something you have been holding on to, let it go. Is it really worth your happiness? Your peace of mind? Let it go.
I keep saying it...I feel it...I BELIEVE It...
2009 IS GOING TO BE THE BEST YEAR YET FOR ME AND MY FAMILY!